Remain connected without loosing your centre

What was it that attracted me to Aikido about seven years ago? I guess it was just an intuitive feeling. There was just “something I liked about it”. There was something in the movement that had such beauty.

This “something” seemed to be a purely physical challenge for quite a long time; getting the hands and feet into the right place, coordinating movements and learning to take rolls and falls. But there was more and over time I am becoming more and more aware of some of these things. Aikido is teaching me a lot about different aspects of life. One of these aspects lies in the way uke (the person that attacks) and tori (the person executing the technique) relate on the mat and in the perfect harmony that is found in the movement when that relationship is flowing.

When we practice Aikido one of the vitally important things to learn is that whatever we do is coming from the center; that we are moving as one unit and with confidence. The moment you compromise your space and let uke take control of your centre you are defeated (especially if uke is physically stronger).

At the same time all technique will be useless if you are only focussed on your own centre and unaware of the nature of uke's attack. Therefore total connectedness is required. The moment you loose that connection with uke he/she will feel it and (depending on the situation and experience of uke) this can lead to him/her overpowering you in a counter-technique or in injury to uke.

For me watching Aikido and experiencing it in my own practice has such absolute beauty because it expresses something that so many of us long for. It is a relationship that allows for connection and closeness without compromising your own centre.

The moments we feel uncomfortable in a relationship with a friend, a lover or even a complete stranger are usually those where we feel the other person is compromising our space, knocking us off our centre. As a result we may become hard and disconnected; trying to regain balance but just getting stuck and frustrated.

Quote: “Where is my centre? Where is ukes centre? How can I reach and move uke?” (Thanx, Horst ;-)

This is what we practice as tori.

As uke we practice a good and confident attack which should also come from the centre. But in the dojo we are also working on building trust and learning to surrender.

Surrendering does not mean loosing yourself or giving up. It means non-resistance. To some people this might sound strange because shouldn’t we always try and remain strong? But non-resistance and surrender to a technique means increasing flexibility. In surrendering to a movement uke might be able to re-position himself and might even find the gap for a counter-technique. For this to happen our practice must be done with mutual respect and sensitivity so that uke can learn to trust tori’s technique and thereby gain the space to build his own confidence.

This is another aspect we search for in our relationships: respect and sensitivity to the other person’s journey. We look for trust and support along the way. A relationship where two people are constantly competing becomes exhausting. We want to feel that we have the space to try things out without someone taking advantage. We are looking for a safe space where we can make mistakes and still feel supported.

This weekend on the mat I got that opportunity and I want to say thank you to all the senseis that gave us that opportunity and all the people that trained with us creating that very special space.