Gratitude

Yet another day that brings me back to thinking about plans and about this feeling of wanting to have control over ones life. We think we understand the fact that change is the only constant in life and that we cannot have comlete control. But thinking about this and actually accepting it are two very different things.

So far I have spent about 26 years on this planet and different people, events and emotions have crossed my path. Some have walked with me for a while some only appeared for a brief moment. These experiences have shaped the way I look at life and the way I live it. I see and interpret things because of how I have learned and decided to relate to the world.

So what if things do not happen according to how I expect them to be and how I think they fit into my logic about life?

I ask myself, why?!

This huge thing called ego comes out, convincing me that I have done something wrong; that I just have to find out what it is and then I will be able to fix things.

That is how most of us operate most of the time. That is how we are taught to think: Something goes wrong, we must analyse it, find the mistake, and do it differently next time. This is a useful approach, but only if we do not forget about the fact that our conclusions are always drawn from a foundation of assumptions, experiences and interpretations.

If a scientist for example performs an experiment and draws a conclusion from the results he or she has to be aware that his conclusion will always be a model only and will never describe the true nature of things.
The reason for this is that in setting up the experiment one has to use ones current understanding of the relationship of the variables. This does not mean that performing the experiment is a waste of time and the result without value. Science has offered very valuable insight and progress and will continue to do so. But only if we remain open to the fact that our findings can never be more than a model for the real nature of things, will we be able to progress further. We have to be able to put our ego aside and embrace unexpected findings.

However, this is not a thought that is exclusively applicable to science, it is applicable to all areas of our lives. How can we possibly assume that the way we perceive the world based on our own personal experiences resembles the truth? Again it is our ego that makes us believe this. And the danger in this is that we think if we do everything right according to our concept of life we will succeed in whatever we do.
Again, there is nothing wrong with using our experiences as a basis for how we choose to live our lives, as long as we remain open to surprises.

This sounds easy but how often do we think we are aware of this concept but still are so caught up in our own world. Sometimes only a traumatising or life threatening event can make us realize how pre-occupied we are with our own ideas about life. We forget, what a fragile treasure this life is. We or someone we love could be wiped out tomorrow by an earthquake, a life threatening disease or simply a car accident on the road without us having any control over the event.

So how can we possibly think that us doing “everything right” will result in complete control. Why are we so unable to accept, embrace and be grateful for unexpected events?

Yes, each and every one of us expriences difficult times and times of crisis. And one of the most important things is, that we have a space to express our sadness, grief and frustration. And hopefully even in times like that we will be able to look beyond our ego and feel gratitude for the gift of life and the oppotunity to grow every day.